Alishia, Doing Good for DJ
Eight years ago, on January 18 2016, my firstborn son DJ Anderson was born. Although he did not cry and the room was silent he made a huge impression on my heart and left his impact with the world. I will never forget how devastated I was when the doctor told me at my routine 28-week appointment after completing an ultrasound, DJ no longer had a heartbeat. In that very moment my entire world was flipped upside down, and my life was thrown completely out of whack. I didn't know how I would survive the next day, let alone the next hour, minute, or second without DJ present.
Over the last 8 years one of the biggest lessons I learned was; even though DJ is no longer here physically, he is ALWAYS here in spirit, because I carry him with me. He is my motivation. He lifts me up on the days I want to quit. He inspires me to help others, so they don't suffer the same feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation I did. And most importantly, his short life taught me to value time, and to be grateful for the memories that we create in our lifetimes (however long or brief). DJ has been a true blessing in my life, and I am so honored to be his mom. He was the first to give me the title mommy and I will carry it with pride.
“Even though DJ is no longer here physically, he is ALWAYS here in spirit, because I carry him with me. He is my motivation. He lifts me up on the days I want to quit. He inspires me to help others.”
I facilitate RTZ's BIPOC Support Group. I want people to know RTZ has supported me through my grief by giving me space to honor DJ through my volunteering to aide others in their grief. I have found that holding space for other grieving parents has allowed me to also hold space for DJ. I am forever grateful for RTZ HOPE for allowing me to facilitate such an enriching group. I've met so many amazing individuals and have been privileged to hear stories of some incredible little babies who no longer dwell earth-side. RTZ HOPE is a great resource because it couples support, with education, and most of all community for not only loss parents but providers who offer loss parents care.
When DJ was born stillborn, I told my dad (who is a pastor and has dealt with countless grieving hearts) I didn’t know how I would handle anniversary dates every single year. He suggested that I create something I could do in DJ’s honor every year on the important dates so that I wouldn’t totally dread the day. April 7 was Dj’s due date, and is a date we now recognize as #DoGood4DJ Day where I, along with my family and friends spread random acts of kindness into the world in honor of DJ. By honoring DJ on the 7th of April every year I get to go out of my way to be kind to others while keeping DJ’s name and legacy at the forefront on such a somber day.
If you’d like to join in as we honor DJ, perform a random act of kindness in DJ’s honor. It would mean so much to our family.
HOW TO HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN DJ’S HONOR
Pregnancy and infant loss is a unique type of loss, leaving the grievers to feel isolated and unsure of how to move forward. We'd be grateful if you would consider making a contribution to RTZ HOPE. Your gift ensures that other parents who endure loss on their journey to parenthood have the support, resources, and community they need in order to navigate life after loss.
With your support in 2023 (Annual Report) RTZ HOPE continued to fulfill our mission of serving over 250,000 bereaved parents and the healthcare providers who support them through a variety of free and reduced fee programs and offerings.
HOW WE EMPOWER PROVIDERS:
Educated With Website Guides and Resources
Informed through Free Webinar Series
Hosted Free Drop-in Consultation Groups
Led Educational Trainings, Presentations, and Seminars
Provided Free Brochures and Materials
HOW WE ENGAGE PARENTS:
Connection through Social Media
Education Through Webinars
Email Newsletter
Extensive YouTube Channel
Healing In-Person Retreats
Informative Website Guides
Inspiration from our Stories of HOPE Blog
Meaningful Workshops
Transformative Virtual Support Groups